


Dad Jokes

by GothamLioness1



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Baby!Lian, Character may be slightly OOC, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dad Jokes, Don't Repost. Only I am allowed to do that., Future Fic, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Just a couple refereraces to it, Multi, One Shot, Pregnancy, Rare Pairings, Raven hates Dad Jokes, Red X is his own character, Red X was redeemed off-screen, Team as Family, Teen Titans as Family, Terra is a Titan, Unplanned Pregnancy, there's no sex though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothamLioness1/pseuds/GothamLioness1
Summary: {Inspired by a Tumblr Post} The Half-Demon Raven has faced many challenges throughout the years, from defeating her father and the prophecy of her birth to fear itself. All with her friends by her side. But now as an an adult she faces her biggest challenge yet, one where even the Titans had abandoned her in: Dad Jokes.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Tara Markov, Garth/Roy Harper, Koriand'r/Garfield Logan, Past Roy Harper/Jade Nguyen, Raven Roth & Tara Markov & Garfield Logan & Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Victor Stone & Red X, Raven/Red X (DCU), Sarah Simms/Victor Stone
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Dad Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> So... I saw a post by a blog called '@incorrectrarettcouples' that was basically an incorrect quote that while I won’t completely recite it, boiled down to the future where Terra was pregnant, and now Nightwing had begun telling Dad jokes and Raven hated them.
> 
> And I was inspired to make this.
> 
> Enjoy!

It all started when Nightwing and Terra called a team meeting.

The two had been happily married for a couple of years now. The relationship had started back in his Robin days, and was still going strong now. The romance between them had been a bit of a surprise to the others at first, but upon further inspection made a lot of sense. After she came back the two had spent a lot of time together. Bonding over their shared trauma from both having been Slade’s Apprentice, and the fact that he and Raven were trying to help her with any remaining lack of control.

“So, what’s the meeting about?” Cyborg asked.

“Yeah. Are the two of you going to have a baby or something?” Changeling -the Titan formerly known as Beast Boy- joked.

“Uhh…” Terra stuttered

“Yes.” Nightwing answered “Yes, we are.”

“Friend Terra is the pregnant?!” Starfire gushed with excitement “Please in celebration I shall sing the song of new life!”

Nightwing and Terra exchanged a worried look, but before the Alien could begin her ballad Changeling intervened.

“Hey… um… Sweetheart, can we quickly go into the other room?” He asked before leading her away.

The two of them had been dating for years, and tied the knot recently. The other Titan’s breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that after the couple’s talk they would likely never even have to listen to one of her ballads again.

“Thank god, that bullet was dodged!” Red X said.

Red X was an ex-thief who had been on the wrong side of the law for years. However that had all changed when he met Raven, who had been able to convince him to stop stealing and join the Titans. The two had become inseparable, constantly trading quips, going on long bike rides, talking about books (although Red X wasn’t much of a reader), drunk flirting, all the good stuff!

“You can say that again.” His girlfriend agreed before turning to Nightwing and Terra.

“Congrats” She told them with a smile.

“I can’t believe it! I’m going to be an uncle!” Cyborg exclaimed “Well… I guess I’m not technically their uncle, but…”

Nightwing gave him a smile. “They’ll be calling you Uncle Cy, I think that it counts.”

“That means that we’re all Uncles and/or Aunts” Red X pointed out

“Yeah”

“Ok, well tell the kid that his Uncle X says hi!” Red X said

“We’ll be sure to do that” Terra reassured him.

“Great! Now assure them that he’s going to be the best Uncle out of all their Uncles!” He chirped.

“It’s not a competition, Red” Raven told him.

“Don’t worry Babe, you’re going to win the prize for best Aunt!” He said, while she rolled her eyes and held back a giggle.

Meanwhile Changeling and Starfire emerged from the other room.

“My apologies, Friends Nightwing and Terra. I did not mean to do the dampening on the festivities with my songs.”

“It’s fine, Star.” Terra reassured her

“Please does the child in your belly also forgive me?” she asked.

Nightwing chuckled “I’m sure they do, Kori”

“Glorious!” The Alien exclaimed. “I give you two the congratulations on the conception of your child! May you live happily with them!”

“Yeah, what she said” Changeling agreed

“And as it turns we’re all going to be the child’s Aunts and Uncles so-”

“Please don’t turn this into a contest.” Raven interrupted her Boyfriend.

“I am to be the Aunt!” Starfire glowed.

“Oh yeah, Uncle Changeling!” The Shapeshifter cheered.

“Hey,” he added. “Have your Dad Jokes began coming on?”

“Not as far as I know…” Nightwing answered.

“Nightwing would never fall into doing something as stupid as Dad Jokes.” Raven stated, confident that her friend wouldn’t begin telling them.

At least that’s what she thought.

* * *

**A few days later**

The plan was that during the visit with Titans East, Nightwing and Terra were going to tell everyone about the exciting news of the pregnancy.

However as it turns out Titans East had some news too.

After the expected greetings, Tempest and Arsenal -formally known as Aqualad and Speedy- sat everyone down, not too different from the meeting that had been called by Nightwing and Terra so recently.

The two of them had been smitten with each other since their teenage years, despite both having their own love lives. However a little more than a year ago the two of them had realized their feelings officially gotten together.

“So… we have some good news!” Tempest announced. “Me and Roy… are going to be getting married!”

“Awesome!” Changeling exclaimed

“Glorious!” Starfire cheered

“That’s great,” Nightwing said.

“Good for you.” Raven told them.

“Go on, tell them the other part.” Bumble Bee told the happy couple. Mas y  
Menos nodded with her. They both seemed a little nervous, but Tempest continued on.

“And even better” Tempest said “We have a daughter!”

“You what?!!” All of the Titans asked, shocked.

“How??? You've been dating for a year?!” Red X shouted.

“Well… technically she’s Roy’s daughter. But I’m going to be adopting her.” Garth explained.

“Roy’s got a daughter?” Cyborg inquired.

“Yeah, I only learned about her a week ago” Arsenal admitted “My ex came to me, told me about her, and decided that it was safer for her here.”

“Who’s your ex?” Nightwing asked, confused. “Donna? Because you two broke up years ago and I think we’d know if she had a child.”

“Uh… no.”

“You had a… um… thing with Hawkgirl, right?” Nightwing asked.

“A one nightstand, yes. But she’s not the Mother.”

“You had a small relationship with Starfire, right?!” The Leader asked, desperate to figure the mother out.

“That was before the relationship with Husband Changeling and Friend Arsenal’s with Friend Troia.” Starfire pointed out “And I think I would be aware if I had the child.”

“Well then who is it?!”

“You guys remember when I did that undercover mission to take down Cheshire? And how it failed?”

“Yeah… why?”

“And how I had to drop out because I grew feelings for her?”

“Ye- oh no…” Nightwing said

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before Red X spoke up.

“Who the hell cares who the little girl’s mom is? Roy’s obviously moved on now. And she’s probably adorable!”

“Yes, may we see the little bumgorf?!” Starfire asked.

Arsenal ran out of the room. When he came back he had a baby in his arms.

She had her Father’s eyes and freckles but her mother’s hair. The girl’s skin was light, and she was wearing a red onesie. Judging from her size, she couldn’t be much more than a year old.

“Awww…” They all cooed in unison

“She’s adorable!” Cyborg commented

“Aren’t you just the cutest!” Terra grinned.

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?” Changeling asked the child, before turning into a kitten. The girl started giggling.

He turned back “You wanna see more?” She smiled wide. “Here’s a dog!” He said, before becoming one.

She giggled some more in response, and Arsenal sat her on the ground so she could play with him some more.

“Quite the girl you got there” Red X commented.

“Yes! She is the very… What is the word?” Starfire stuttered “Delightful!”

“What’s her name?” Raven asked.

“Lian” he told her “Lian Harper”

“Well she seems lovely!” When he gave her a weird look the Empath quickly added “That wasn’t my usual sarcasm. She really is a treasure.”

“Raven’s right.” Nightwing agreed “I might not like her mother, but I am happy she’s here with us.”

“Yeah” Tempest agreed “It’s too bad she doesn’t have anyone her own age to play with, though.”

“Speaking of which There’s actually what we came here to tell you about,” Nightwing said, before turning towards his wife.

“I’m pregnant!” Terra announced.

“Really? Congratulations” Tempest told them.

“Hi Pregnant, I’m Roy!” The Archer cheerfully joked.

However it quickly clicked to everyone that it was more than a joke: It was a classic Dad Joke!

While the others quickly began congratulating him on ‘completing the evolution to being a dad’ or something like that, it hit Raven differently.

You see, Raven had always hated Dad jokes. They were the only jokes in the entire world that rivaled her hatred towards the ones Changeling would often tell.

The corniness, the predictability, the time wasted, the pure stupidity of it all… it gave her a headache.

And from the seems of it, Arsenal was going to start telling them.

She groaned, but quickly reassured herself with the fact that they were on different teams, and she would not see him often.

So everything would be fine she told herself.

However things were soon to take a turn for the worst!

* * *

**A Few Months Later**

Raven, Red X, Nightwing, and Terra sat on the couch in the main living area. As you would expect, Nightwing was fawning over his pregnant wife, making sure she had everything she needed.

“I’m fine, Dick. You don’t need to wait on me.” She told her husband.

He frowned. “Just earlier today you were vomiting.”

“The morning sickness is over. I’m fine.” She reassured him.

“Oh c’mon, Babe. You’re pregnant. Just let me wait on you!” He said.

“On second thought… I am craving some chocolate ice cream with pickles on top.” She said, sheepishly.

“Of course, Pumpkin!” He told her before heading to their kitchen -which was actually in the same room, but whatever.

“Looks like the weird cravings have begun.” Red X observed.

“Yeah, looks like it.” Terra said.

“Love, there’s both sweet and dill in here. Which do you want?” Nightwing asked

“Hmmm can I have both?”

“Of course, Princess!”

“Thank you so much! You’re the best, Hun!”

“Yuck.” Raven cringed “Do you two have to be so lovey dovey all the time? I’m trying to read here!”

“You and Red X do the same thing all the time.” Terra pointed out, “You just don’t have the pregnancy excuse.”

“Speaking of which, have I told you how beautiful you are today?” Red X asked, before moving besides her to shower her in cheek kisses.

“Stop! I can’t be caught being a hypocrite!” Raven told her boyfriend with a chuckle.

“Hey, out of curiosity: what are you reading anyway?” He asked her

She shrugged “It’s about anti-gravity. Not very good actually, to be honest. I prefer fiction and history.”

“Well actually that book sounds... hard to put down” Nightwing replied.

The others immediately began going crazy, congratulating him the way they did with Arsenal. But Raven was frozen.

It was a Dad Joke. From one of her best friends. It felt like a betrayal in her eyes.

How could he do something as obnoxious as tell one of them?!

She forced herself to take a deep breath though. It was probably just a one time thing.

He was mentally bonded to her after all. And nobody who was mentally bonded with her would tell those …things… regularly.

She just needed to stop worrying. It wasn’t a big deal. He had a better sense of humor than to say that sort of crap.

Right?

* * *

**A Few Weeks Later**

She was wrong. He did not have a better sense of humor than to begin telling those kinds of jokes.

“Terra, we need to talk.” Raven said, pulling her pregnant friend aside.

“What?” Terra asked.

“Nightwing. He’s going crazy.”

“What!” Terra exclaimed “How is he going crazy?! I thought he got over his Slade obsession!”

“No. His Dad Jokes!” Raven explained “He’s been telling them all the time! I can’t have a single conversation with him without hearing one!”

“Oh those?” Terra asked “He’s just practicing for the baby. Once they’re born he’ll probably calm down.

“For now I feel as if it’s sweet that he’s trying to give the kid the Ultimate Dad Experience.”

Raven was about to respond when Nightwing came in.

With more jokes

“Why was the broom late for work?” He asked them.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Because it overswept!” He finished. Raven groaned.

Well at least He's the only one telling dad jokes around here, she thought in a blind hope to look on the positive side.

However she forgot to factor in the ‘yet’.

* * *

**A Couple Months Later**

All the Titans were gathered in the main room. Cyborg and his wife of five years, Sarah Simms were standing there, together.

Years ago Cyborg had been thrust back in time, into which he met a young warrior called Sarasim. The two of them had a small romance that was unfortunately doomed from the start due to them being from different time periods.

He had inevitably been separated from her to return to the twenty-first century, and had mourned the loss.

A couple of years later, however, he had met her reincarnation. A young woman named Sarah Simms who volunteered to help kids with special needs. More specifically kids with robotic limbs.

The two had quickly resumed their romance, and not long after that had gotten married.

They were currently smiling at each other, but Raven frowned. It all seemed a little too ‘deja vu’ for her.

“I’m sure you all know how me and Sarah have been looking to adopt” he asked them.

It was true, even before Nightwing and Terra had been trying to get pregnant, Cyborg and Sarah had been trying to adopt.

“Well, we just got news that a little boy named Tommy is in need of a home!” Sarah announced.

“Congrats!” Nightwing told them.

“I wish the congratulations on the adoption of this child!” Starfire cheered

“The more the merrier!” Red X said.

As the other continued on with their congratulation, Raven found herself zoning out.

If Cyborg was having a kid, then what if he began telling Dad Jokes? Nightwing and Arsenal already were, and she didn’t think she could take much more.

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that just because they had begun telling Dad Jokes didn’t mean Cyborg would.

Of course she also knew that this was probably just a pretty lie she was telling herself in order to feel better.

* * *

**A Month Later**

Raven sighed

She was sitting under a tree watching her friends enjoy their picnic.

“Hey Cutie, are you going to join in?” Red X asked her.

“I’m fine.” She told him. I just need some time to meditate, she thought, and get away from the dad jokes…

“Well I guess someone’s being a bit of party pooper!” Changeling complained.

“Well if she’s going to be one” Cyborg said “Then she should probably wear a diaper!”

“Can you stop telling so many jokes?” Raven asked, completely exasperated.

“What is this about my dolphin puns?” Cyborg asked “Because they’re terrible on porpoise!”

Raven groaned before turning towards the new kid.

His name was Tommy. He had strawberry blonde hair, hazel eyes, freckles, and light skin. His arm was robotic from an unfortunate accident that had both destroyed his arm and killed his biological parents.

He was asking his dad to play some game with him or something. Raven didn’t really care.

She knew that her anger towards the child was misplaced but she couldn’t help but somewhat blame him for what was going on.

* * *

**A Month Later**

Raven was innocently heading down the hallway to her room, with a book in hand, When Starfire came flying down the hall to her. Fast.

“Friend Raven!” Starfire exclaimed joyfully.

Raven reached down to grab the book that she had dropped in surprise. “Star, I was reading.”

“My apologies, friend Raven” Starfire said “But you simply must hear the joyous news I have just learned!”

Right then Changeling ran in after her.

“Star, not so fast!” He said

“My apologies Husband Changeling” Starfire said “I was overjoyed by the news, and can not wait to tell our friends though!”

“This doesn’t seem like the best way to do it…” he muttered “...But if it’s how you want to…”

“What is going on?!” Raven snapped.

“I am Pregnant!” Star announced

“You’re what?!” Raven froze with shock from the news.

“Yes, is it not exciting?!” Starfire beamed.

“How the hell did you get pregnant?!” She asked her alien friend.

“Well you see when the male and the female love each other very much-” Kori began, before Changeling cut her off by covering her mouth.

“Love, don’t give Raven that private of information!” He told her.

“Please, did she not ask?” Starfire said while Changeling removed his hand.

“No, I meant… you know what? Never mind.” Raven said, turning to Changeling.

There was no doubt in her mind that he would tell the despised Dad Jokes.

“So… you’re going to be keeping the child, I presume” She queried.

“Of course,” Starfire replied “Why would we not?”

“Raven, you have no idea how excited I -I mean we- are, if you’re even asking that!” Changeling told her “This is a child of our own. A little being that we can care for and love all their life. I’m going to be a dad!”

“...Yeah you’re going to be a dad…” Raven agreed “...And Dad’s tell Dad Jokes.”

“Yes, wh-”

“Yeah, I am going to tell dad jokes!” he cheered “And considering I’ve basically been telling jokes since I was born, I’m going to be the best Dad at Dad Jokes, since the history of Dad Jokes!”

“Yeah, I guess you will…” Raven muttered, trying her best to keep her emotions under control for Starfire’s sake. And maybe for Changeling too. But mostly Starfire.

As the two of them got wrapped up in their celebration, Raven quietly slipped away to go meditate and hopefully forget for just a little bit that soon she would have to endure Changeling’s Dad Jokes now too.

Although to her regret a couple of vases may have been destroyed that day.

* * *

**A Few Weeks Later**

Raven stared at the test in front of her.

Positive She thought.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He’d worn the condoms and she’d taken the birth control pills, but apparently that hadn’t been enough.

That small chance that she might get pregnant had still happened.

She sighed, before exiting the bathroom, heading to go get some advice from the one person who might be able to help.

* * *

**A Few Minutes Later**

She shouldn’t have chosen to tell Starfire.

Anyone but Starfire.

Her alien friend was basically yelling incoherent words in her surprise.

“Starfire, calm down. I don’t want anyone else to know, remember!” After the reminder she seemed to calm down.

“Friend Raven, as much as I adore children I am aware that you do not wish for them” She began “But I believe the first person you should be doing the telling to is Red X, correct?”

“That’s the problem” Raven told her “When he learns he’s a father -even if it’s to an unborn fetus- he’ll begin telling Dad Jokes! My witty, smart, beautiful, funny Boyfriend will begin telling Dad Jokes!”

“You are worried about the ‘Dad Jokes’ ritual that your species performs?” Starfire asked, confused. Raven nodded.

“Friend Raven, that is not what you told me you felt the fear of last time we spoke of the children.” The Princess pointed out “You said you were scared of the burden of the demonic powers you possess being passed on to another, a-”

“How do I tell him, while making sure he won’t begin telling Dad Jokes?!” Raven ranted “What if he begins telling them, right as I tell it to him?!”

Starfire sighed “Friend Raven, ignoring how strange your fear is, Red X is the father. He deserves the knowledge that he has sired the fetus.” She consoled her friend “Tonight, tell Friend X the truth.

“Perhaps even tell him these fears of yours that he will tell the ‘Dad Jokes’ you fret about.”

“I guess I can’t really argue with that…” Raven admitted.

“Ok, tonight around seven I’ll explain everything to him.”

As the young woman left the room, unbeknownst her friend was mentally marking the time she planned to speak to her boyfriend.

* * *

**Seven PM**

Raven and Red X were in her bedroom. She had told him to come in, and now the young couple were just awkwardly standing there.

“You okay, beautiful?” Red X asked his girlfriend.

“Um… yeah?...” She awkwardly responded “Look, we need to talk.”

“About what?”

Raven was quiet for a few moments, before pulling out the positive pregnancy test from earlier.

He looked from it, to up towards her. “You’re pregnant?”

She nodded.

“That means I’m-” He paused his celebrations when he noticed the look on his lovers face. “You’re not as happy about this as you should be.”

“Tell me the jokes you’re planning on telling the child.”

“What?”

“Just say a joke that you’re planning on telling them.” She said, flatly.

“Umm… here’s one!” He answered “What do you call a pencil without lead?”

“What?”

“Pointless”

A smile crept across her face, a long with a slight chuckle. “I never should have doubted you!”

“What is going on?” He asked her, confused.

“All of our male friends have begun telling Dad Jokes” Raven explained “I was afraid you would begin too.”

She smiled up at him, and wrapped him up in a hug “But of course you’re still… the same funny you, you have always been.”

However as the couple embraced, they had no idea that they were being watched.

* * *

**Meanwhile in the Mainroom**

When Raven had decided to talk to Starfire about her dilemma, perhaps she should’ve remembered who it exactly was that she was seeking out.

While the bubbly, sweet extra-terrestrial may be excellent at giving advice, she was no saint when it came to keeping secrets.

She had been trying to find a way to watch the scene unfold in case something went wrong, and ended up spilling what was going on to all her other friends.

The Titans stared at the scene that had unfolded before them.

“She… she does realize that what he said was a Dad Joke too, right?” Terra said, breaking the silence.

“And she implied that me and Cy’s jokes are bad!” Nightwing exclaimed

“And that’s what we’re being compared to…” Cyborg shook his head reproachfully.

“I always knew that she liked his jokes more than mine, but at least back then our joke styles were different!” Changeling said “Now they’re the same, and she’s just having double standards!”

“At least everything ended up well for them” Terra commented “Even if double standards are involved, they’re happiness should be our first priority.”

“I believe we still must do the waiting before we can be sure,” Starfire replied, sadly. “Friend Raven may soon remember the other issues she has with having children.”

The two girl’s words got ignored, however, by the boys who had begun arguing over who made the better jokes. Meantime in Raven’s room, her and Red X were talking about eloping.

That night at Titan’s Tower may have not been perfect, but it was one where everything turned out ok.

Well at least for now. But that’s a story for another time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment ans/or kudos! (Preferably both)


End file.
